Perspective

So, yesterday I went to church for the first time since The Accident.  I will admit, on the drive over I was feeling somewhat apprehensive.  Did NOT help that a guy driving a red truck right in front of us suddenly swerved all over the road and so very nearly got in an accident right in front of us.  I will also admit that I have been having issues with riding in a car at all as of late, and do not like in any way other cars driving beside us.  Which is somewhat of a problem living in a Big City.  Also admitting that when we pulled up to church, I kind of started to cry and shake and had to force myself to get out. I was kind of surprised that I wasn't coping so well and not one bit impressed with myself.  I am somewhat traumatized by our ridiculous car accident.  But I don't want to live in fear.

Stupidly, I took a deep breath said, "You are being RIDICULOUS!", prayed for perspective, and shakily hopped on in.

I guess all was going ok until our Pastor asked for prayer for one of the kids in Ben's Sunday School class, Kai.  We hung out with him quite a bit at camp last summer.  We just spent 3 months teaching their class.  Suddenly diagnosed with leukemia this week.  In the hospital getting chemotherapy, instead of cracking jokes beside Ben in Sunday School.  And suddenly my fears seemed like a joke.  My foot, my crutches, my "ruined vacation", my car issues, my inconveniences.  Do. Not.  Matter.

On the way home, we stopped at Sam's.  I refused to allow myself to be afraid.  While the kids and I waited in the car and Ryan shopped, Ben asked me, "Is my friend going to be ok?" with blinking, blinking eyes.  It about broke my heart.  If you know Ben, you know that's his way of trying so hard to hold back his emotions!

If you think about it... pray for Kai.  And his parents, Scott and Suze.  And his little brother, Dakota.  I'm attaching a link to his aunt's blog... I doubt she will mind since it just might get more people to pray for Kai!

** Ok, thank you to Ryan for exiting Sam's in completely the opposite way we've ever exited before... your traumatized and baby-stepping wife thanks you for your kind sensitivity!!!

Random Update...

I keep emailing Rochel to update her blog so I can see the new tile in her kitchen, and she doesn't listen to me.  Seriously, I'm bored here on my couch... and I'm tired of Leah being 8 months old.  I figured perhaps I should update my own before I continue to call the poor girl out on it.  But seriously.  Are you REALLY busy with 2 small children?

Anyhow... it's been a real learning experience around here.  Well, mostly for me.  I have not been handling things so well.  You know, being dependent on Other People, as it were.  Had several rough days with pain, and I guess, coping with my Temporary Disability.  Trust me, I've told myself a million times it could be way worse... but I was still being a big baby about it.  So, I'm really trying not to.  I've even had to continue writing down things I'm Thankful For.  And yes, that really does help.  I think the main thing is, it's just not comfortable for me to hand The Reins over to Someone Else.  So, I'm guessing there could be Reason #1 for our little Car Mishap.  As I am lovingly referring to it as.

So, I'm going to try to get better.  I mean, better about posting stuff... because honestly, I do not want to forget this Feeling of Yuck.  Very soon, it will be gone and I need to learn something from this.  Already, I have figured things out a little better (with Ryan's help, of course!) and it no longer takes me an hour to get a shower, or 20 minutes to hop to the bathroom... this is progress.  

Enough of that, because it is boring.... oh, and you are WELCOME for not creating a post about a Typical Day on My Couch.  B-O-R-I-N-G...

So, The Kids.  

Last month, Carly participated in an American Heart Association Jump Roping Fundraiser.  She came home from school in tears about the "poor children" with Heart Problems.  Little Miss had no idea that there are kids who are born with issues that might immediately require surgery or lifelong medical problems.  She wanted to donate her own allowance money she had been saving.  She begged me to email Anyone and Everyone and tell them about The Children.  While I immediately agreed and started typing away for her, I did have to ask her:

"Carly, was there a video involved?"

"Oh yes Mom!!!  A video with music (sniff) and little kids (tears, gulp) and, and, HEARTS!!!!!"

Thought so.  Anyways, THANK YOU to everyone who donated on my Soft Hearted Girls behalf.  She actually raised the most money in her school, at $280!!!  She was very happy that everyone cared as much about The Kids as she does.  I would like to take this opportunity to divulge a statement Carly made the morning of the Big Jump Roping Event:

"Ummm, Mom?  I don't even know how to jump rope!"

But, apparently she learned... here she is with her Medal for being the Top Fundraiser in her school.  Again, THANK YOU to everyone!

And, another Breakfast from Carly.  She did point out to me that if I would rather my blueberries said, "WOW", I could just turn my plate around.  Clever Girl.  She also mentioned that she "Misplaced" my yogurt.  I found it 5 hours later.  On the shelf.  Not sure what happened there, so we will leave it at that.

And I've been fortunate enough to have had several visitors to my Couch.  Many of my friends from work and church have stopped over to see how I'm doing and to entertain me.  We've had many delicious meals provided for us, which has really really helped since Ryan doesn't necessarily cook.  THANKFULLY, I'm getting better at getting around, so now I can help him out with dinner a little more... perhaps I should keep some of this information to myself.  Hmmm.... anyways, Leah (who I've already divulged is 8 months old) came over with her brother who is now Too Fast to Photograph.  Anyways, she is so cute and funny with her brother's Curious George.  Gets pretty excited over that monkey.  If her mother doesn't update her blog soon,  Aunt Jenny might give Leah her own REAL monkey.  She can call him George.  

Our Car Saga... and the Elusive Platinum Grey Jetta Sportswagen.  I won't go into it, but this is MAYBE the car we are getting to replace my Smashed Up Platinum Grey Jetta Sedan.  *Sigh*  I'm shaking just typing that.  Anyways, provided This Car is actually delivered to our home on June 20th after it's trip from Atlanta, we will have a car we can take on vacation.  Which my Mother In Law would appreciate:)  Hey, did you know you can get a car delivered to your house?  Crazy.  But I'm going to make them do it just because it sounds so funny to me.  And well, I can't drive.  Anyways, STATION WAGON.  More room for camping supplies.  You know, when my foot is NOT broken.  Seriously,  I fall over climbing into the tent WITHOUT crutches and prefer not to press my Luck!

Here's the girl we refer to as Smarty Pants around here.  FOUR years running, an "Excellence Award" for her grades at school.  Supposed to be for Straight A's all year.  However, there was ONE B this year, and she got the award anyways.  Ryan refused to clap,  you know, since she didn't deserve it.  She didn't care.  She thinks she's all that.  Pretty sure the "B" was for Too Much Talking.  I can relate.  Actually, I think it was Reading.   Which makes me laugh.

So, the one thing you CAN do on the couch is shop!!  (You saw that car, right?  Surely you didn't think I went Car Shopping with my walker did you?) And so far I have bought birthday presents, End of the Year Teacher Gifts, Coffee, and these fun tshirts for our little swimmers.  Now, I ask you... are they PERFECT for Ben and Carly or what?  Pretty sure you can figure out which one is Ben's and which is Carly's!

Random Picture #9

Because it sure made me happy today... Carly made me breakfast this morning, to make me smile:)