So, yesterday I went to church for the first time since The Accident. I will admit, on the drive over I was feeling somewhat apprehensive. Did NOT help that a guy driving a red truck right in front of us suddenly swerved all over the road and so very nearly got in an accident right in front of us. I will also admit that I have been having issues with riding in a car at all as of late, and do not like in any way other cars driving beside us. Which is somewhat of a problem living in a Big City. Also admitting that when we pulled up to church, I kind of started to cry and shake and had to force myself to get out. I was kind of surprised that I wasn't coping so well and not one bit impressed with myself. I am somewhat traumatized by our ridiculous car accident. But I don't want to live in fear.
Stupidly, I took a deep breath said, "You are being RIDICULOUS!", prayed for perspective, and shakily hopped on in.
I guess all was going ok until our Pastor asked for prayer for one of the kids in Ben's Sunday School class, Kai. We hung out with him quite a bit at camp last summer. We just spent 3 months teaching their class. Suddenly diagnosed with leukemia this week. In the hospital getting chemotherapy, instead of cracking jokes beside Ben in Sunday School. And suddenly my fears seemed like a joke. My foot, my crutches, my "ruined vacation", my car issues, my inconveniences. Do. Not. Matter.
On the way home, we stopped at Sam's. I refused to allow myself to be afraid. While the kids and I waited in the car and Ryan shopped, Ben asked me, "Is my friend going to be ok?" with blinking, blinking eyes. It about broke my heart. If you know Ben, you know that's his way of trying so hard to hold back his emotions!
If you think about it... pray for Kai. And his parents, Scott and Suze. And his little brother, Dakota. I'm attaching a link to his aunt's blog... I doubt she will mind since it just might get more people to pray for Kai!
** Ok, thank you to Ryan for exiting Sam's in completely the opposite way we've ever exited before... your traumatized and baby-stepping wife thanks you for your kind sensitivity!!!
2 comments:
It is amazing how different your perspective is when someone else is going through something that seems worse. I truly believe that the devil uses fear to paralyze me and put my focus in something that He already has control of. But I also think it is our humanity that makes us fear easily... I'm just thankful God knows this and gives us a way out! Love you!
A new blog post, please. I'm sooooooooo bored!
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