Oh Mother.

Happy Mother's Day!  We had a fun weekend celebrating, well, ME:)  Kidding.  That wasn't the whole weekend.  Saturday, we went to the RAYS game.  Rodney came along for some Family Fun, and this is pretty much how he enjoyed the game: playing tetris on his phone.  "A" for effort.  But the rest of the fam enjoyed the game... complete with a walk off Evan Home Run.

Next day... Mother's Day!  I had to get up super early for Worship Team at church.  My little kiddies left a few gifts out for me.  Well, actually, they get up at the crack of dawn (still) and were dancing around me as I checked out the stuff.  I love that they got me stuff they know I love!  Ben's contribution was the laundry paraphernalia.  We all know I love laundry:)  For real.  And Almond Joy candy.  And he made me a star.  Out of post its.  And Carly made me a Slip Proof hanger (lets ignore the fact that she cut up one of her tshirts to make it...) and cleverly attached 2 bags of Lindt Truffles to it.  My kids pay attention to my favorites:)

Then, there was Worship stuff for church.  Rochel was sick.  As was the other singer, Kyle.  So, I was kind of on my own.  Oh boy.  Anyways, ROCHEL, since there were 2 extra stands, I made the Coffee Stand we've been needing for months.  Also, note the EXTRA LARGE coffee... that was a late game the night before!  Anyways, this rehearsal was pretty much a disaster, which just reminds me that we get no where on our own volition, only with God.  I know that I need reminders that worshipping God isn't about perfection, but about the perfection of our heart.  Perfected by Him.  

And He so often asks more of us than we are willing to give on our own.  Much more than we think we are capable of.  

We had a QUIET lunch at home... basil, tomato, and mozarella panini's.  Me and Ben's favorites!  This is the basil plant I have successfully not killed for the past 18 days.  Purchased at Publix for $3.99.  I'm about to repot it, so I'm certain it's days are numbered.  Also, on the left, the Super Chili plant Ryan bought for me... Ben and I are hoping it gets Super Hot.  It's already sprouted 2 new peppers in addition to the 2 that were already there when purchased.  Also, soon to be repotted.  What we really want are some of the pepper bushes my grandparents used to have around their house in Louisiana.  So, my Dad needs to get home so he can get on that for me.

The remainder of my Mother's Day involved a delightful NAP, and Chinese Take Out from a new place, which was pretty good... and we watched the Cathedral DVD Ben got for Christmas  from Grandma.  We all loved it.  He explained it all to us, you know, along with the Nova guy.  Oh, and they cleaned the house while I was napping.  So, pretty excellent day.

One last picture, because it's so super cute:  Ryan sent this to me this morning... It's the tree outside his school with 2 of my Mother's Boys.  Probably looking for some cat food.

Qualified.

Probably our BEST excitement around here, lately, has been Ben's Big Swim Moment.  He's had a great "long course" swim season and seems to get faster and faster every time he gets in the pool.  Of course, "faster" normally means by 100th of seconds.  That's how swimming goes.  When you are in the realm of seconds, you are thankful for shaved 100ths.

A few weekends ago, Ben and Carly had a swim meet in Winter Haven, FL.  We were all pretty excited about this meet, it's one of our favorite venues (not just because there's a Panera Bread right next to the pool.  Ok, maybe just because of Panera.  Mama needs coffee.)  Actually, we were excited because of our plans to go to Disney afterwards and meet up with friends, stay overnight in a hotel, and go to Hollywood Studios the next day with Uncle Rodney.  Good times.  Who would have thought it would have ended in such exciting fashion?

Here's Carly.  Photo included because this is generally how she rolls at a swim meet.  She checks out new suits with the vendors, smiles and waves during every race, dances on the starting blocks, and forgets it's a race.  But, you know, she's having a blast and getting it done.  

At this meet, it was announced they'd be using a new app you could get on your iphone for free.  "Meet mobile."  We really loved it!  Plus, we got Ryan's mom to sign up for it too, so she could follow along during the day how the kids were doing.  It was updated nearly immediately and we had all the official times posted so conveniently.  I love technology!  Anyways, here's their results from the app.

Then Ben's Big Race.  His best race has always been the 50freestyle.  I'm not sure why we never really thought about pushing him to get a great time during Long Course.  It makes more sense, due to the timing with his birthday.  But to be honest, my kids don't really love long course.  Anyhow... 

Here's the video of said race... Just before it started, while I was waiting on the deck of the pool with my phone, I just started praying and thanking God for Ben.  For the cool kid he is... for how far God has brought him with asperger's, for a healthy kid, for the moment he was born and we first met face to face... crazy stuff was going through my mind.  I just prayed that God would strengthen him and give him success.  I was really just thinking a 100th of a second faster, not what actually happened... Ben's in the 2nd lane from the top... blue hat.  And I don't know.  Watch to the end.  It's a beautiful finish.  That's Ben slamming into the wall first.

He got 6th place overall, which is so awesome! (there were 8 heats... 52 swimmers ages 13-14 boys) and most importantly, he got a Junior Olympics qualifying time!!  And he won't "age up", which means he will still be 14 when the championship meet occurs this summer.  And he will be able to compete.    July 18-21 to be exact!  In Gainesville.  The time cut is 28.89 and he finished with a 28.08.  That's not even a "little" bit of making it, that's really really making it.  He was so happy and so proud of himself.  He has worked so hard, and it was so great to see that hard work pay off like this, in a tangible way he can actually see and appreciate.  And it's made SUCH a difference in his swimming already!  He suddenly really really takes practice seriously.  He asked to reschedule his solo trip to Michigan to fall after the championship meet so he wouldn't miss time with his coach.  We got to spend a lot of time thanking God for choosing this for Ben.  It's fun:)

And Carly's results... I love this kid.  She just has a great personality and attitude about everything.  She was beyond excited for her brother!  Not anything she wants for herself, mind you, but super fun for her brother!  HA! I love that our kids are proud of each other and cheer each other on.  And it's really fun to see where they excel.  

Proud Mama:)

And lest we forget...

The Revelation of 2013

It's May.  By the middle of February, we were already saying 2013 stinks.  We were begging to be able to catch our breaths and keep our heads above water.  It all sounds very dramatic now...

It started with The Marathon.  Which ended up being a heart breaking disaster for me.  5 miles in, I knew I was in trouble.  By the 10th mile, I was severely dizzy.  By 13, I knew I wasn't going to finish.  By 16, I started walking.  And asking God to just let me be ok with not finishing.  I was still dizzy.  But I wasn't going to stop.  By 19 miles, the Lady warned me they might make me Get on The Bus.  I was still dizzy.  This sounded wonderful to me.  By 21 miles (ummmm, 22 according to my GPS), I got on the bus.  Happily.  It was yards from the absolute worst part of the marathon.  And 5 miles from the finish.

All those months of near perfect training.

Not finishing was just insane to me.  But, oddly enough, I was ok with it.  It just felt like One of Those Things.  They still gave me a medal.  I mean, really Disney.  I did pay for it.  And again, oddly enough, I'm actually proud of it.  For what it reveals to me.  I should have stopped at 10 miles.  I kept going.  All our careful planning and training... doesn't always end at the Finish Line.

Then there was 6 days after the Marathon.  I was still dizzy.  And convinced at this point I must just be really dehydrated.  But the severity of it dragged me into the doctor's office.  Where he ran lots of blood tests.  All of which I passed.  He suggested an MRI, which I decided could wait.  You know, until me and Google found a better diagnosis.  Turns out, if you don't do what your doctor tells you, he calls and tells you that you really should do what he says.  And honestly, by the following week, I was falling over.  And scared.  Also included: a trip to the neurologist.  And of course, the MRI.  Here's what was going through my head while I was in the MRI tube... this song:

Your fullness is mine

revelation divine

But, oh! To taste!

To know much more than a page

to feel your embrace!

For dark is light to you

depths are height to you

far is near

But Lord I need to hear from you

Be near, O God!

Be near, O God of us,

Your nearness is to us

our good...

I'm really thankful for a physician who is kind enough to call me with MRI results an hour after he gets them, late on a Friday afternoon.  I mean, really.  He could have just gone home for a nice weekend with his family.  But he took the time to call to say the MRI revealed no tumors.  Or any "real problems".

Oh.  Right.  I forgot to mention that in the midst of all of this, I was contacted by a different medical facility about the prospect of a new job.  Which I had been praying about.  I mean, praying for months that God would either make me REALLY happy where I was, or give me something so much better that I couldn't refuse.  I'm often confused by God's timing.  Well, not in hindsight.  But in the midst of it.  4 days after my MRI, I agreed to a job interview.  15 minutes after an appointment with the neurologist.  I literally left the doctor's office, quite dizzy, and went for an interview.  The whole time I was thinking, What is going on?!?! God, You have kind of a sick sense of humor. The good news, (other than the fact that God forgives me for calling him sick) is that the whole dizziness thing was caused by a SINUS INFECTION.  No symptoms other than dizziness.  And severely clogged sinus' only seen on MRI.  Crazy.  But so easy to fix. I'm really thankful for the simplicity of that.

Then Ryan's Grandpa Tuinstra passed away.  I'm really thankful we had just spent time with him up in Michigan. And of course, it was really great for him to FINALLY get to be in Heaven... but still sad for all of us.  Only Ryan got to go up for his services, but I'm really thankful for that time he got to be with his family.  I know it meant a lot to him.  When we start the worship service in our church, quite often they make a point of saying that we are joining in with the saints who have gone on before us who are already worshipping God in Heaven.  I just love that and for real, it has brought tears to my eyes for these past several months to think of it...

Overlapping this chaos was the insanity of Ryan's best friend going into drug rehab.  And everything that it entails... because we love him so much, we stayed beside him every step of the way.  And hopefully taught our kids the love of Christ.  And unconditional love, along the way.  Sometimes I feel bad that they don't know all the Bible Stories yet, you know, that I think Ryan and I had drilled into our heads by their ages... but then I think they have learned other stuff about Christ that I know I hadn't grasped until I was... well, last year, probably.

Then I started a new job.  Which I love.  But it was no kind of easy for me to go from being an EXPERT in my field, to not having a clue where the syringes are.  For the record, I now have a handle on that, at least!

Huh.  It all sounds pretty trivial.  Now.

Except for what I learned through every step of it...  all of this.

Reveals my need for Christ.  Sometimes I think that when things are going smoothly, I forget.  It seems like I'm getting by just fine on my own.  Or even if I realize God's getting me through, I don't always feel the gravity of my need for Him.  And I kind of love that there have been so many, many avenues of this Revelation this year already.  I need that to keep my heart tender and raw.

So, through my failures, through my health issues, through losing a loved one, through the gift of a job and financial provision, through our friends addiction, through anxiety over my children's exposure... I see how much I need a Savior.

And I'm loving this Natalie Grant song right now.

Who told us we'd be rescued?

What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?

We're asking why this happens to us who have died to live

it's unfair....

This is what it means to be held

how it feels when the sacred is torn from life

and you survive

This is what it is to be loved

and to know that the promise was 

when everything fell, we'd be held.

This is what we were promised: God's love.  He's got us, when it seems like 2013 is living up to it's Unlucky Number Name.


Sigh*  Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, perhaps I can update the Blog with fun stuff...

oh.  And for the record: Signed up for the Marathon AGAIN.  Rats.  I told Ryan I plan on finishing another one.  If it takes me 10 tries.  But I'm really hoping if I'm not sick, it won't be a problem.  Because I don't want to have to try 10 times.  That would REALLY stink.