I will Carry You...

You. Must. Read. This. Book.

I just read this amazing book.  About a story I already heard.  And it was still so completely fascinating to me, I insist that you read it, too.  Somewhere around HERE I mentioned that I loved reading Angie Smith's blog because I found it to be so encouraging... and I have found this book to be the same.  She tells the story of how her family handled losing their daughter, Audrey.  While it's such a moving story (read: tear-jerker!!) this book is so much MORE than that.  It is certainly for people who have walked this road, whether through miscarriage, loss of a child in infancy, or later in their life.  It is also for people who are THEIR friends and family.  She so beautifully covers what helped them, what was hard to hear, and what you should AVOID saying.  It is ABSOLUTELY for everyone who has ever grieved or felt ANY kind of loss, or wondered where God is in the midst of our trials.  I found it to be most encouraging in reminding me that God carries us through times of grief, and brings us joy!  She weaves the story of Lazarus throughout the book, and seriously?  I've read that story nearly a million times and just might have finally gotten the full point!  ANYWAYS, beautiful writing.  Great story. Amazing God.  Quick link to Angie's Blog... and finally, the lyrics to the song she wrote with her husband, Todd, and Christa Wells:

I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take,

things I wanted to show you;

sing sweet lullabies,

wipe your teary eyes.

Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave, but I'm not.

Truth is I'm barely hangin' on.

But there's a greater story

written long before me,

because He loves you like this.

I will carry you while your heart beats here,

long beyond the empty cradle,

through the coming years.

I will carry you all my life.

I will praise the One Who's chosen me to carry you.

Such a short time, such a long road.

All this madness, but I know

that the silence has brought me to His voice.

And He says,

"I've shown her photographs of time beginning,

walked her through the parted seas;

angel lullabies, no more teary eyes.

Who could love her like this?"

I will carry you while your heart beats here,

long beyond the empty cradle,

through the coming years. 

I will carry you all your life.

I will praise the One Who's chosen me to carry you.

"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices.  You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."     John 16:20

Red Flowers 2010

Our annual amarillas pictures...  our winter was "so cold" I was a little worried they weren't going to make their appearance this year!  Better late than never... our sure sign Spring is here!

We took them last night, but I redid them this morning since Carly's hair was wet:)  I had to include this picture of BEN winking!  The girls are already asking to call. 

(this one is for my dad... the YELLOW lantana didn't make survive our COLD winter... but I don't remember you planting THAT much purple... do you?? obviously we need you to come home....)

(she smashed her chin in the pool... I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often!)

The Lost Art of Randomness

I am a HUGE fan of Snail Mail... not bills and stuff, but REAL letters from REAL people!  This is not shocking news from the person who's favorite pass-time is making cards.  Cards that I actually send.  Nor is this shocking news from the person who wrote (and received!  You Go, Ryan!) a letter to her Intended EVERYDAY during our long distance relationship... and have kept the vast majority of those letters, plus letters from my family members and BFF.  I believe I am well known for saying that Handwritten Communication is a Lost Art.  It would make sense that this is a Quality I want to instill in my own little Protege'.  She's quite clever with a roll of tape and a marker!  When I woke up this afternoon (um, I WORKED last night, I wasn't just being excessively lazy), she had this waiting for me.  I'm sharing it with you.  You are welcome!

And here is the present that went along with this letter....

Oh, and perhaps the very best part... My First Letter in my New Mail Box...

I am a rich woman, indeed!  And while I have your attention.... here's a little Random Goodness for you... Eli came over for the morning.  He had fun bonding time with Uncle Ryan and his cousins, who are all home on Spring Break.  This bonding included chasing the cats and watching Fantastic Four (in BluRay, of course.  Elis is somewhat Picky)... 2 of Uncle Ryan's favorite things to do!!

"Ben do you want to say anything to your cousin?" (I mean, REALLY?  He was dancing all around him, grinning from ear to ear, and saying NOTHING.  Ben, not Eli)... "Ummmm, I love you Eli????????"  nice.

Carly feeding Eli some yogurt.  Of course the child CAN feed himself, but we find it much more entertaining to do it FOR him... plus, who wants to clean up someone ELSE'S kid?!!!  I find it highly entertaining that Carly feeds children the way her dad does... with her OWN mouth wide open for each bite!  Eli likes coming to our house.  We have LIFE cereal and cats. 

And while I'm being Random.... we've been spending quite a bit of time HERE:

Completely LOVING the annual passes we got for Christmas!  We are DETERMINED to get our money's worth and then some... and because we can't seem to do ANYTHING normal, we have read many books on the "Secrets of Disney" to find out interesting facts to add to our Cespool of Useless Knowledge.  Such things as: There are NO bathrooms in Liberty Square on purpose because there were no public bathrooms in Colonial Times.  See?  Did YOU know that?  Yup, Useless.  But entertaining.  And we have verified each Very Important Fact.  Also in the category of Not Normal would be how we got that picture...  It seems you CAN get up to the Top floor at the Contemporary Resort (you know the one the Monorail goes through?!?!) WITHOUT a keycard for the elevator if you just push ENOUGH buttons.  And there's a really nice balcony just off the private lounge up there.  Of course, we didn't COMPLETELY realize we were in a somewhat Restricted Zone initially, but yes, I was pretty much aware of it just prior to snapping that picture:)  Whoops!  We were tempted to Hang Out in our New Home until the fireworks, but it just didn't seem right:)  I mean, did the girl working there REALLY think we had booked a room for $1900 a night?  Us and our little kids who were perfecting their Chipmunk Dance down the hallways?

Yup, that's all I've got.

Love So Amazing

We love Easter.  Actually, the whole Lenten Season, too.  We go to Tampa Covenant Church and they are crazy good at setting the mood for the Season... whether it's the sermons or just the change in the atmosphere within the sanctuary itself, it's all good.  This morning, the cross was "covered" with these flower/butterfly things, and it just looked so cool.  Certainly church is not about "looking cool" but I really love the symbolism...

So, weird year.  I was supposed to work this weekend, but my good friend, ASHLIE, agreed to cover for me if the hospital census allowed.  We had Plan A, and Plan B for our Easter Celebration.  SO VERY HAPPY that we got to go with Plan B, which gave me Saturday night off work!  Thank you so much, Ashlie. 

Well, we wouldn't be McGregor's if we didn't do things WEIRD.  So Plan A AND Plan B involved this:

Dinner Saturday Night at Ti'Juana Flats.  Of course.  Who else goes out for Mexican the day BEFORE EASTER for their Easter Dinner?  Ok, they were going to be closed on Sunday... Uncle Steve was kind enough to join us for the fun.  Which we all loved.  And Mom is in Israel, so no ham or macaroni and cheese.  Rats.  Might could have made it myself, but work, right?  I mean, I had to actually WORK, not that it was too much work.  Well, that too.  We miss my parents!

Next, Ryan threw in Plan C, which was "how about we have Breakfast Casserole tomorrow.... since you are home and all..."  So off to the store Carly and I went, then had some fun Mother/Daughter Bonding. 

HA!  Not a fan of cooking, and I certainly do NOT bake.  And Carly loves it.  She needs to go live with her Aunt Rochel until she's about 18.  But here are my feable attempts at teaching Carly a few things in the kitchen.  Most of my "cooking" is in the craft realm.  Much more comfortable....

See?  Plaster frames.  This is what we were doing when Ryan came up with Plan C.  Craft kits.  So much MORE fun than casseroles.  And really more my speed.

But I tried.  You know, for Carly's sake. 

Then, HER idea (and this is where I know she's my daughter for real.  Because I never even saw her until she was 3 hours old, so I've always kind of wondered.  Traumatic emergency C-section.  Click HERE for the story.  Ha!  Kidding!)  She decided it would be most fun to get the table "organized" (ahhh, love it when she speaks my language!) and made cards for everyone! 

And we put out the chocolate.  Which we've been planning for 6 weeks to eat for breakfast.  The whole family chose to give up desserts for Lent.  It's been HORRIFYING for all of us (well, Ben not so much) so we are REALLY happy that sacrifice is over:)  Note the broken cookie on Carly's plate... they made those in school on Thursday, and she carried it around in her backpack, saving it until TODAY!  Also, beside her plate are the churros Uncle Steve gave them last night.  She did share with her brother:)  And after Carly went to bed, I made a card for HER. 

After a great service at church... recycled an Easter outfit from last year since I didn't feel like wearing scrubs. 

And this photo was taken meer minutes after Ben handed Eli an egg and Eli said, "BALL!" and threw it at the man sitting in front of us.  You know, during communion.  Anyways, there's ELI and buddy Olivia.  She was born on our anniversary.  Complete doll.  Both of them... look at those arms.  

"Hey, since he's crawling away, do you think you could crop him OUT of my picture?"

Anything for you, Sweet Cheeks!  Olivia reminds me SO MUCH of Torrey, so it's pretty fun to get to see our 14 year old girl little again!  And tell me that picture doesn't make you smile! 

The Cousins.  Should have had Rochel's belly in there, too! 

And finally.  I leave you with this....

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of Glory died;

my richest gain I count but loss,

and pour contempt on all my pride.

 

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,

save in the death of Christ, my God;

all the vain things that charm me most,

I sacrifice them to his blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,

sorrow and love flow mingled down.

Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,

or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

that were an offering far too small;

love so amazing, so divine,

demands my soul, my life, my all.

Easter Header

We've been "enjoying" the Easter Season around here... we are currently "celebrating" Lent with our kids as we try to impress on them the magnitude of Christ's incredible sacrifice for us.  Such an odd way to put it, CELEBRATING LENT.  Not really a time of celebration, more of a time of melancholy reflection and a time of forcing ourselves to sacrifice.  So insignificant in light of what HE did for us, but a small glimmer, I guess.  Very small.  I need these reminders of how unworthy I am, and who I am in Him.  He has redeemed me.  It has been so cool watching our kids "get it" more and more each year, the older they get.  Love that.

I guess everyone is well aware by now that my parents live in Israel for about half the year.  The scene above is what they see each morning as they walk out of their apartment door.  An empty tomb.  Christ's empty tomb.  Incredible.  They give tours there, and serve communion to hundreds of people each day.  Right.  Outside.  This.  Empty.  Tomb. 

Aside from the obvious part of why this verse is so cool (Duh, "He is Risen"), I just LOVE the last 3 words.  "As He said".  I love the God who keeps His promises.  I love that He keeps His promises to ME.  Unworthy me. 

The Struggle

No pictures.  If you are a parent, you will be forgiving by the time I get to the end of this. 

So, true story:

My Princess (We'll call her Princess A) spent some time with a friend (who we will call Princess B).  With me?  All was going well, until Princess B decided it would be REALLY cool to be super mean to Princess A, seeing how Princess B was holding court with Princesses C, D, E, F, G, and H.  Of course, Princess A, tenderhearted lass that she is, was heart broken.  She tried everything she could think of to get Princess B to be nice.  Princess C did as well.  Princess E even said, "Why can't we ALL just be friends?!?!?!".  Finally, the Queen (um, that would be ME.  My blog.) noticed it was time to head for greener pastures (um, our house).  Upon travelling to the homeland, the Queen noticed tears in her rear-view mirror.  The sad story spilled out.  Seeing this as a Teachable Moment, the Queen graciously directed her daughter towards kind thoughts, forgiveness, and love.  Yet inside, the Queen's heart was slowly rotating down a deep, dark tunnel of Unforgiveness. 

I hate that story.  I mean, Carly watched the Chipmunk Movie and was over it.  Not so, for her mother.  As a parent, you want to protect your child from Mean Girls.  You want them to NEVER be the Mean Girl, and if you are a McGregor?  Then you kindly share the consequences with them if you ever find out that THEY are the Mean Girl.  So, by 10pm, Ryan and I had looked at real estate in Oregon and our house is on the market.  Ok, kidding.  Ryan told me I was being irrational.  Plus, he had just installed a new garbage disposal for me and figured we have AT LEAST 3 years on that, so "can't we stay here until then???". 

There's a small amount of history with Princess B.  This isn't the first time we've seen this behavior.  And to say that we are tired of it, tired of exposing OUR Princess to such meanness, is an understatement.  So we prayed about it.  You know, asked God for direction.  A clear understanding of how we should handle what has become a perpetual problem.  How to protect Carly's innocence (Princess B is WAY more "mature" than any 8 year old I've even seen). Even asked him to make us completely aware if Carly is ever The One being mean.  I feel asleep last night dreaming of the Oregon Coast.

And was promptly awakened by a horrible nightmare.  So horrible, I can't even say it.  But you know what I did hear?  God saying, "I love Princess B just as much as I love Carly". 

I hate this story.

Then I started arguing:
"Um, no you don't"
"Yes, I do"
"Nope.  You don't"
"Yes, I do"
"Can't possibly.  Carly loves you.  B doesn't even KNOW you"
"I know her.  I love them both."
"You can't"
"Yes, I can"
"No, you can't."
"Yes, I can."
(I will promise you, this went on for a good 1/2 hour... then came...)
"This morning when Carly headed down the aisle to take communion and you whispered in her ear, "He did this for you"?  You SHOULD have said, "He did this for you AND Princess B". 

I guess there wasn't anything else to say after that. 

I was up a little longer asking for forgiveness.  I hate doing that, especially when it involves a bratty, selfish girl.  I hate it when I'M the bratty, selfish girl.  Thankfully, He is forgiving.  Thankfully, when He says "Yes I can", He means it. 

So, this morning?  First "Prayer Request" out of Carly's mouth during devotions?  "Princess B".  With a little sheepish grin. 

Gasparilla Half

Ryan completed the Gasparilla Half Marathon this morning, and got his BEST time ever!  He finished in 2:33:59!  The kids and I got up at 4am and headed to downtown Tampa with him!  Trust me, my tired kids were even MORE tired of being part of the Over-Achieving-McGregor-Clan after their big weekend of early starts and races!  HA!  It was fun to watch him, and he did SO GREAT... we are VERY proud of him!

Arriving at the Convention Center... 2 VERY Sleepy-Peeps! 

Early morning shot of Tampa General Hospital... Great reflection in the water!

A benefit for being up so early.... Great sunrise!  This is after the race started, and while we were waiting to see Ryan at mile 6.7... the kids had eaten breakfast, so they are smiling!

Here he comes, with his arms up!  Half way done!

There was a full marathon going on at the same time, and this guy was the winner... he finised BEFORE Ryan finished the HALF!  Take a guess where he's from... Here's a clue, he finished FIRST!  At the Expo, they sell running shirts that say, "In my mind, I am a Kenyan".  No kidding.  Ok, he's from Kenya.  But before you think he did ALL GREAT, he finished about 5 minutes slower than his LAST marathon.  Last week. 

And OUR man of the hour, crossing over the finish!  (Keep in mind that Ryan crossed the START line 1 minute and 40 seconds into the race, so his actual time is FASTER than the clock time here).  So proud of him!

You can see the Finish line over Ryan's right shoulder! 

Congrats, RYAN!!!